Due to circumstances beyond either of our control, my most recent venture into the world of dating has been cut short.

Good dude. Similar interests. Great times. Life happens.

The older I get the easier situations become to handle, yet the harder they are on the mind and spirit.

Adulthood hit full on this time and I can't remember ever being faced with a harder situation. But funnily enough, it has nothing to do with me.

But no one died. So it can't all be bad.

Quite a few things on my mind this evening.

Number 1, Brav-fucking-O to The Boondocks Season Three Premier tonite. Well worth the wait. I laughed or course but I was also reminded of the delusional Black folk who voted for the Brother Obama for all the wrong reasons. Best believe I was singin Young Jizzle from the Bottom of the Map as much as everyone else but I made sure I read up on his platform before I stepped in that voting booth. But outside of that, Riley Freeman, per usual, stood and delivered. And he's right, you know. Real niggas DON'T follow directions.

Number 2, this morning I watched all the new episodes of VH1's Nigger Variety Hour (And A Half). IMO, Sonja Norwood got nerve for gettin mad at Bran'Nu and Ray Sr. for One Trick Pony's skripper shenanigans. But it reiterated something I heard a few years ago: "Mothers love their sons and raise their daughters." She is showing mad favoritism. And Bran'Nu got nerve to be rappin. If I wore weave often enough I'd buy whatever brand you got your forehead on but

Stop it.

Chilli gon be single fa-eva if she don't get her mind right. Aint nothin wrong with her standards but her approach is all kinds of wrong. Her negativity shows up 10 minutes to the date before she does.

And last but certainly not least, Basketball Wife(ves)/Divorcees/Baby Mamas. These chicks are silly. And it's not all of them but if your name is associated with the show your reputation is pretty much done for. Some peeps on Twitter were havin a fit (nonetheless still watching) about these chicks' behavior and how it makes the rest of us women look.

I AIN'T WORRIED BOUT THEM BITCHES! A real man will know a real woman aint about that silly bullshit. Point blank. And if a dude got the nerve to think that shit about me he ain't got no business near me ANYWAY.

But alas, lest we forget the reason a lot of chicks act silly in the first place.....A MAN. That dude Eric Williams?? Jennifer....babe....you gotta do better. You not ready to divorce him but you DON'T KNOW if you're still in love with him?! You gotta want better for yourself babe! I understand being used to your lifestyle and being reluctant to let that go, but you need to stop crying or step out! Be like Kelis and get that nigga for all he's worth if it's that deep but come on yo....gettin mistreated by a dude that looks like Grimace?! Aint enough money in the world. Dick better be the size of my leg for me to take that kind of shit. And good dick really is a dime a dozen. I don't know any chicks who've had more bad sex than good. So....yeah.

I also said this earlier, you tend to attract people of the same substance as yourself. So ladies if you keep pissin and bitchin and moanin about "aint shyt" niggas then you need to find the "aint shyt" in yourself that draws these Eric Williams cats to you like magnets. Same for you fellas. Don't cry about her bein a hoe if you need savin yourself.

Semi-Charmed Kinda Life

I say this every time I come back here but I swear I'm gonna start blogging more often!! But in the meantime....

Dating is frustrating.

You meet a guy, through a mutual friend, work, pumpin gas on New York Ave., or through a social network. Pick your poison.

So you and said Sir hit it off. GREAT conversation, similar interests, and, lest we forget, the ever-important mutual physical attraction. Every night you tell yourself: "Just chill out. Don't over-analyze it, let it flow. Don't have any expectations...whatever is meant to be will be." But lo and behold, what happens? You catch feelings for Sir. And why wouldn't you? He's intelligent, articulate, carries himself in a respectable manner, and overall seems like a decent guy. A hot commodity, because you and every other woman with an I.Q. higher than a Barbie knows his type is hard to come by. He knows it too. But in this case, that's not even the issue.

The issue is, it just isn't there. Or shall we say, he's just not THAT into you. Yeah you all had your fun, a few good times, but that's it. Nobody's done anything wrong to any body else, and you had the good sense not to have sex with him. It just didn't work out. It sucks, yes, but you lick your wounds, pick yourself up, and get on with your life.

And the vicious cycle continues.

THEN, you've got your raggedy ass ex tryna weasel his tired ass back into your life. Or the not-so-raggedy ex tryna make his comeback like Jordan wearin the 4-5, willing and ready to give you everything you wanted and needed while you were together. And being the intelligent and ever-evolving woman that you are, you've grown since then. You want more. You need more. You deserve more. So neither one of those are the look you're going for. But the look you are trying to achieve, the ideal ensemble, isn't available in your size! You can't win for losing!

But as frustrating as this process may be, I refuse to give up. I believe each one of these men have come into my life for a reason, of course. The MEN. Not the boys that invite me out on my birthday to the bar, but not to buy me a drink (Let's not and say we did, okay?). Or the the ones that steal a pair of jeans from the mall. Nigga....YOU'RE 24!!! If you can't afford them, that's fine. But STEALING CLOTHES with two sources of income and 6 years of college under your belt (maybe that's the problem)?! FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

*Ahem*

I digress.

Like I was saying, I know each one has been placed to teach me and help me grow to become a better woman....COOL! But dammit can yall devise a new lesson plan?? Cuz this shit is getting real old, real quick!

I bet you think this post is about you....don't you? DON'T YOU?!

Update

I haven't written in a long time. I honestly don't have shit to write about but I am bored as HELL at work.

Lately I've been reading multiple blogs, Tweets, and Facebook statuses and I am frightened by the outlook young Black people have on relationships and their views of the opposite sex. Let me tell you now, this post is gonna be jumping all over the place, so bear with me.

Apparently relationships are a game, not to be taken seriously when it comes to reciprocity, respect, and honesty. It's more like "Screw you over before you can do it to me." Many in our generation (and the generations before us) have the belief that EVERYONE cheats. Man, woman, it doesn't matter.

FUCK. THAT.

I would NEVER, COULD never do that to someone I love. Even if I DIDN'T love his ass, you best believe I'm leaving him before I cheat on him. Why be with someone if my feelings aren't strong enough to respect him and our relationship? Fuck being comfortable. I don't believe in being with someone if my feelings are lukewarm and I'd rather spend time alone than be with that person. Fuckalldat, take ya ass on.

So with that said, NO, I'm not cheating on my significant other. That's gon be my baby, my ace boon boom pow, my #1, n all that other mushy shit. But it's evident that many of my colleagues and counterparts don't feel the same way. Ladies using men for money and material things, men using women for sex and calling them out their names. Now none of this is new but that doesn't make any of it less disheartening.

Pardon me for being a HOPELESS romantic. Now don't get me wrong, I'm also a realist and know that no relationship will ever be perfect, but with that kind of attitude and mindset any relationship is destined to fail. In no way do I think every encounter or date I have could be the beginning of my wildest dream coming true, but shit everyone's gonna get the benefit of the doubt.

Ugh. I don't even feel like talking about this anymore. Maybe I'll revisit the topic later. Right now it's actually depressing me. ANYWAY....UPDATE time.

-FINALLY GOT MY CAR!!! Woohoooooo....her name is Purple Reign and she's a 2000 Honda Civic LX. I've scratched her hubcaps several times. LOL. Gettin better tho.

My car makes me feel like....a natural woman. Like no shit. Not gonna get into a bunch of detail and have a whole therapy session but catching that bus made me feel....you know?? Anyway, glad she's here, my number one bitch :0)

-Hopefully I'll have a new job soon. Being mobile opens up SO many more options for me job-wise and it's way beyond time for me to get up out that bank. The devil greets me at the door everyday.

-Hopefully in January I'll be starting school to become a dental hygienist. Yeah that may be a communications degree down the drain but that industry (particularly radio) just lost its appeal to me about a year or so before graduation. I'm gonna try and take some tests before enrollment to see if I can figure out my "dream" in order to not waste money but....as my mother said, my "dream" may not be in the workforce. She worked in order to retire, not because it was something she wanted to do. I might be the same way and if that's the case, I'll be okay with that. But at least let my job/career be something I can make good money in.

-I'm dating a guy. I like him. He's tall and funny and smart.

-I haven't watched "Fresh Prince"" in a while. That makes me sad.

TaTa for now!

Me vs. McNair

Now I know the title already made some of y'all mad. Let me start off by saying it is/was an unfortunate situation for Mr. McNair and his wife and children. I do not think he deserved to die at the hands of his mistress. It is never a good situation when one man's fate is decided at the hands of another. Not much for following the career of anyone outside of the Washington Redskins, I don't know about his skill on the field or what he did for the community, but I'm sure he was loved and respected by many, in and outside of his professional life.

NOW, with that said, it is also unfortunate that the last thing this man will be remembered for is cheating on his wife and being killed by his mistress. His children will grow up without their father, and when people ask what happened, they'll have to again face the agony of everything they're going through right now.

But what really grinds my gears is how people (translate: MEN) are blaming WOMEN for being crazy. "Now I definitely aint gettin married cuz yall women are crazy." Ummmmmmmmmm....WTF?! NO, if you men didn't always fuck everything that walks and didn't treat your jumpoffs like wifey, then don't you think some people wouldn't have the problems that they do now?

I understand many young men aren't ready for serious relationships, which is why many steer clear of them. And that's the reason why I also tend to avoid relationships at this stage in my life. I'm ready to be a good woman to a deserving man, but I'm going to let him find me. Until then, I'm staying away from men with hang-ups or who don't seem to have themselves together.

But anyway, I'm disgusted by the amount of men so ready to point the finger at women and our "instabilities". I KNOW not all of us are 100% there. I'm well aware of that fact. But how bout you all take some ownership? Have some accountability. YOU laid down with that girl. YOU, somehow, someway, made her feel like she was all that mattered in the world to you, and now YOU want to blame her for her erratic behavior?

I will right here, right now take accountability for MYSELF. I KNOW I am not always the nicest person you may know. I know my moods can flip flop one minute to the next. But I'm claiming that because I know who I am. So I KNOW, for a fact, that I will never let a man bring me to the point where I am contemplating on killing him, myself, or doing anything else that will cost me my freedom. Because I also have a firm grasp on reality, and know that men come like busses, every 15 minutes. Some may take longer to come around than others, but you know that eventually, it will be there. But some of you fail to understand that the majority of us women have that grasp on reality, and ain't gonna be trippin off you and your overinflated ego. NOT THE CASE! Get your head out of your own fucking ass and realize that the reality of the situation is there will ALWAYS be someone better than you. Ladies you need to wake up and smell the coffee too. Someone who will treat you better, who will open your door, who will pay the whole bill, and someone who won't need you to continuously stroke their ego because they'll be man enough to know exactly how much of a man they are.

I know I was all over the place with this one but I just had to let some things out. Men stop blaming women and their crazy behavior when you aint shit. And women please realize when a man aint shit and leave his ass alone, or else he will bring you down with him.

Just Another Sad Love Song

Okay now that my rant's over this is what I came on here to do originally.

As I've said before, some of my friends think that I'm heartless. NOT TRUE!

But with that said, let it be known: I HATE LOVE SONGS!

Not all, but most. And I know there are some GREAT singers/artists out there but I just can't get with the program. I hate people singin bout how sad in love they are, how happy in love they are, how someone is their everything, and all that other pussy shit. I honestly can't remember the last R&B album I purchased. Besides Queen Bey :0) But I truly believe this is why chicks are so sad when their relationships don't work out. Cuz you listening to these sad ass songs that are further adding to your sad ass life. LOL. But no really.

If the artist's last name isn't Isley, Wonder, Badu, or Wind and Fire I really ain't tryna hear it.

And Keyshia Cole? No ma'am. She slays me the most. I like her upbeat stuff and all but that bitch is sad about every man EVER. That's what you get for proposing to Jeezy.

This is why people think I'm insensitive and all but I just can't rock with it. I'll buy a rap or hip-hop album in a heartbeat. I'll support Hov Daddy and Weezy Yeezy and Jeezy before I'll buy someone's sad ass love song.

Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

Okaayyy so I know I'm a little late but I finally read Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man":

.....GOOD SHIT! LOL I know much of what he said should be common sense for every grown woman, but the man drops some knowledge. Much of which I already knew, but I got a much better understanding of some things that had me stumped at times. But here are what I feel were the most important and useful points of the book (in my Cliffnotes version, lol):

**Unless he feels like he has established himself as a man, he's not going to establish you as his woman. If he's really the one you want to be with, sit your ass down til it's your turn! Don't try to force him into anything because he'll resent you for it, and honestly, if he's a real man, he won't stand for it. Get a man with goals, short-term and long-term. If he doesn't even have his short-term figured out ain't NO WAY you're going to be incorporated into his long-term.

**Men are simple creatures. Minimalists that thrive off of basic male necessities. Ladies, you know how we say the smallest things make us happy? The same thing goes for him! As Mr. Dave Chappelle says, "Make him a sandwich, play with his balls, and don't talk so much!" LMFAO no ladies I'm just kidding.

However, I must also add that just because you want a man with goals and a plan doesn't mean jump on the first man that comes along! Ladies let's set our standards high and expect the man we want to reach for the bar and go above and beyond. We've all got too much going for ourselves to settle for less than the best. And as friends we need to keep reminding each other how great we really are.

I cannot and will not get into all that he had to say but he did indeed give me validation and why I don't regret being single since 2004. Some men just ain't ready for it! LOL (but no seriously), this has also given me time to grow and mature as woman into the person I want myself to be...to quote (don't judge me) Souljah Boy: "Be yourself, everybody else is already taken."

Seriously though ladies, it's a good read! It's not a man telling you how to live your life, it's a man offering some insight to a man's mind and how to handle certain situations. You're not obligated to take his advice. But don't say you weren't warned when he takes your cookie and runs and you wondering why his number don't work no mo'.

STAMP.