Real Quick

I was supposed to have been in the shower 20 minutes ago.

I miss you guys! I haven't been feeling very inspired lately.

I hate my job.

I left the bank (which I hated), to work in collections (which I think I hate more). As mean as I can be at times I don't think ANYone deserves to get cussed out on the daily. And yes, I knew what I was getting into before I came on board, but damn. It's not just that though. Some of my coworkers who have been there way longer seem just as unhappy. They've been in the industry way longer but there's so much BS with my particular company, I wouldn't be surprised to not see a coworker or two come back. It's very draining.

But with that said once again I'm on the job hunt. I took a few career aptitude tests online last night (and woke up to a few pieces of junk mail--oh joy), and one recommended I go into business. Business what? Regardless, not interested. The other recommended retail/hospitality. I did Victoria's Secret for two years. I went back for a quick buck Black Friday '08...in my Dave Chappelle voice...."MMMM NEVER AGAIN!" But hospitality....now that's a possibility. Hotel, that is, can't go back to food service, which apparently falls into that category. We'll see. I'll look into it. For now, Career Builder and USAJOBS are my current best friends.

Aight maybe I should go get in the shower. BESOS!

Update

I haven't written in a long time. I honestly don't have shit to write about but I am bored as HELL at work.

Lately I've been reading multiple blogs, Tweets, and Facebook statuses and I am frightened by the outlook young Black people have on relationships and their views of the opposite sex. Let me tell you now, this post is gonna be jumping all over the place, so bear with me.

Apparently relationships are a game, not to be taken seriously when it comes to reciprocity, respect, and honesty. It's more like "Screw you over before you can do it to me." Many in our generation (and the generations before us) have the belief that EVERYONE cheats. Man, woman, it doesn't matter.

FUCK. THAT.

I would NEVER, COULD never do that to someone I love. Even if I DIDN'T love his ass, you best believe I'm leaving him before I cheat on him. Why be with someone if my feelings aren't strong enough to respect him and our relationship? Fuck being comfortable. I don't believe in being with someone if my feelings are lukewarm and I'd rather spend time alone than be with that person. Fuckalldat, take ya ass on.

So with that said, NO, I'm not cheating on my significant other. That's gon be my baby, my ace boon boom pow, my #1, n all that other mushy shit. But it's evident that many of my colleagues and counterparts don't feel the same way. Ladies using men for money and material things, men using women for sex and calling them out their names. Now none of this is new but that doesn't make any of it less disheartening.

Pardon me for being a HOPELESS romantic. Now don't get me wrong, I'm also a realist and know that no relationship will ever be perfect, but with that kind of attitude and mindset any relationship is destined to fail. In no way do I think every encounter or date I have could be the beginning of my wildest dream coming true, but shit everyone's gonna get the benefit of the doubt.

Ugh. I don't even feel like talking about this anymore. Maybe I'll revisit the topic later. Right now it's actually depressing me. ANYWAY....UPDATE time.

-FINALLY GOT MY CAR!!! Woohoooooo....her name is Purple Reign and she's a 2000 Honda Civic LX. I've scratched her hubcaps several times. LOL. Gettin better tho.

My car makes me feel like....a natural woman. Like no shit. Not gonna get into a bunch of detail and have a whole therapy session but catching that bus made me feel....you know?? Anyway, glad she's here, my number one bitch :0)

-Hopefully I'll have a new job soon. Being mobile opens up SO many more options for me job-wise and it's way beyond time for me to get up out that bank. The devil greets me at the door everyday.

-Hopefully in January I'll be starting school to become a dental hygienist. Yeah that may be a communications degree down the drain but that industry (particularly radio) just lost its appeal to me about a year or so before graduation. I'm gonna try and take some tests before enrollment to see if I can figure out my "dream" in order to not waste money but....as my mother said, my "dream" may not be in the workforce. She worked in order to retire, not because it was something she wanted to do. I might be the same way and if that's the case, I'll be okay with that. But at least let my job/career be something I can make good money in.

-I'm dating a guy. I like him. He's tall and funny and smart.

-I haven't watched "Fresh Prince"" in a while. That makes me sad.

TaTa for now!

Confused (Pt. 2)

I am lost as shit.

You Have GOT To Be Shitting Me

Thanks to @FlyBoySanks for putting me on...

The newest in Certified Nigga Shit. I can already see it coming. Louis Vuitton has decided to fuck up the game with this newest agent in coonery.



Louis Vuitton Chopsticks

Yall know what this means right? It means that Lil Wayne is gonna be sportin these in the "Every Girl: Remix" video.

It means that the Real Housewives of America are going to have a fucking field day with it.

It means that JOHN EVERY NIGGA is gonna be runnin up to TOWSON TOWN CENTER to get a pair.

And while I wish I could, I can not, in good will, blame this on the white man *in my Uncle Ruckus voice*. The heads at Louis Vuitton knew what they were doing. They KNOW that their largest consumer, John and Sue Every Nigga, are gonna run out and get themselves a pair.

The D-Boys are gonna be at the Windsor Inn eating crabs with them.

The Hoodrats are gonna be putting them in their hair.

The Real Houswives are going to be poking their bubbies with them and throwing them at each other over dinner.

I'm going to be in my room curled up in a ball crying about what the world has come to.

I can't. I just fucking can't.

Emptiness

Okay, I cannot FUCKING BELIEVE the shit Twitter has put me through the last two days. I feel like a piece of me has been compromised , torn out and mutilated for the amusement of others.

What did I do before Twitter? Facebook? MySpace? Strictly for amateurs. I deleted my MySpace shortly after getting into the Twitter swing of things and haven't looked back since. Yesterday wasn't so bad cuz I was off work and watching a Hulu marathon of Desperate Housewives. But TODAY?! At work?! I'm fucking losing my mind. Facebook is okay, but it's more like my stepchild now...I get around to Facebook when I get around to it...Twitter is my true love, and there's an emptiness I have right now and it won't be fixed til I have it back!!

Can't people die from withdrawal symptoms?

The Evolution of MeMe

Haha whack right?

In the last year and a half or so I've been through A LOT. Nothin dramatic, just a lot of life changing occurrences. I graduated from Morgan, which was bittersweet. I love my school more than half of you will ever know. It is there I grew up and became a woman. But I will forever credit MSU for molding me into the person I am today.

The closer I got to graduation, the more sense some things made. I think the biggest one of all was learning how to let go of any and everything that did nothing but held me down or held me back. One was the "injustices" or wrongs I felt had been committed against me. As the time approached for me to walk across that stage, more and more I just kept thinking, "What's the point?" What's the point in holding on to hard feelings and negativity towards people who I may never see again? Or people that I could potentially be missing out on as great motivational life forces in my life? And it felt so good to let go. I could actually feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders, it was amazing.

But at the same time I was embracing some people, I realized it was time for me to let others go. And what got me the most was that it didn't really hurt much at all. What did it say about me and my feelings for those people? It didn't take me long to realize that the sun had set on those friendships well before I learned that I had to let go. In order for me to grow and evolve I had to let go of those that were not moving in the same direction as I. My priorities had changed. I was no longer a college student, but a college graduate. I had rent and bills and STUDENT LOANS that were now my life, not parties and who's doing what. And it was so damn IRRITATING to watch these people concern themselves with the affairs of others, especially when all of theirs were not in order. Some didn't understand and misjudged me for it, saying I thought I was better than others because I now had a degree and blah Blah BLAH. Are you serious?! For 7 months after graduating I was still waiting tables! And even now I'm still not exactly utilizing my degree, although it does help ;-) But no really this is what you think of me? Fine. I'll keep working on getting myself out of debt and making something of myself while you....what is it that you're doing again?

Haha that was rude. But no seriously, why attach myself to people of that nature? More negativity that serves no purpose but to eat at me alive. Especially when I'm having such a hard time trying to figure out exactly what it is that I want to do and be. Look at me talking all my shit without an answer to the questions that only I have the answers to. But I'm okay with that. I want to teach, I want to write, I want to do anything that'll help give me the definition that I'm looking for. That's what my 20s are for right? RIGHT?!

Anyway, just another random rant, something to get off my chest to hopefully propel me further into the right direction (whatever that may be) and confirm that I'm going about my life in the right way (whichever way that may be).

I'm Just Writing To Say...

....that I don't have shit to say. LMAO! I know I haven't written in a while and that yall miss me n shit....just aint had no real tom foolery to report on lately! But I guess that's a good thing, right?

Me vs. McNair

Now I know the title already made some of y'all mad. Let me start off by saying it is/was an unfortunate situation for Mr. McNair and his wife and children. I do not think he deserved to die at the hands of his mistress. It is never a good situation when one man's fate is decided at the hands of another. Not much for following the career of anyone outside of the Washington Redskins, I don't know about his skill on the field or what he did for the community, but I'm sure he was loved and respected by many, in and outside of his professional life.

NOW, with that said, it is also unfortunate that the last thing this man will be remembered for is cheating on his wife and being killed by his mistress. His children will grow up without their father, and when people ask what happened, they'll have to again face the agony of everything they're going through right now.

But what really grinds my gears is how people (translate: MEN) are blaming WOMEN for being crazy. "Now I definitely aint gettin married cuz yall women are crazy." Ummmmmmmmmm....WTF?! NO, if you men didn't always fuck everything that walks and didn't treat your jumpoffs like wifey, then don't you think some people wouldn't have the problems that they do now?

I understand many young men aren't ready for serious relationships, which is why many steer clear of them. And that's the reason why I also tend to avoid relationships at this stage in my life. I'm ready to be a good woman to a deserving man, but I'm going to let him find me. Until then, I'm staying away from men with hang-ups or who don't seem to have themselves together.

But anyway, I'm disgusted by the amount of men so ready to point the finger at women and our "instabilities". I KNOW not all of us are 100% there. I'm well aware of that fact. But how bout you all take some ownership? Have some accountability. YOU laid down with that girl. YOU, somehow, someway, made her feel like she was all that mattered in the world to you, and now YOU want to blame her for her erratic behavior?

I will right here, right now take accountability for MYSELF. I KNOW I am not always the nicest person you may know. I know my moods can flip flop one minute to the next. But I'm claiming that because I know who I am. So I KNOW, for a fact, that I will never let a man bring me to the point where I am contemplating on killing him, myself, or doing anything else that will cost me my freedom. Because I also have a firm grasp on reality, and know that men come like busses, every 15 minutes. Some may take longer to come around than others, but you know that eventually, it will be there. But some of you fail to understand that the majority of us women have that grasp on reality, and ain't gonna be trippin off you and your overinflated ego. NOT THE CASE! Get your head out of your own fucking ass and realize that the reality of the situation is there will ALWAYS be someone better than you. Ladies you need to wake up and smell the coffee too. Someone who will treat you better, who will open your door, who will pay the whole bill, and someone who won't need you to continuously stroke their ego because they'll be man enough to know exactly how much of a man they are.

I know I was all over the place with this one but I just had to let some things out. Men stop blaming women and their crazy behavior when you aint shit. And women please realize when a man aint shit and leave his ass alone, or else he will bring you down with him.

Vent

Ugh. So this morning I'm getting ready for work and I go to heat up my iron. Now normally, the indicator continually blinks on standby, but not today.

"Oh shit."

So I'm tryin all the different plugs on the powerstrip, EVEN THOUGH everything else is working fine. I go to the bathroom, try the plug in there. Nothing.

"FUCK!"

I call my best friend to see if she can help a sista out and let me come use her iron but she's already out the door. So I weigh my options...3 pairs of slacks, all wrinkled beyond recognition...or a pink flower dress I got from Old Navy that no matter what, never looks wrinkled.

Dress it is.

But of course with this being MY life, shit couldn't just end there.

As I am moving in two days, my apartment is in shambles, bags boxes and clothes everywhere. I had actually packed the Old Navy dress away for Goodwill. Because I haven't worn it in a good 3-4 years so I was sure it no longer fit but was still in great condition. Why not give it to someone less fortunate?

So of course the dress was at the BOTTOM of the bag. I find it, and of course, the dress that NEVER wrinkles has a few good ones, but no biggie, they can be worked with. So I go to pull the dress over my head, struggle to find the arm holes cuz the dress is a little tight on my size 7 frame. I'm tugging at the dress and for the life of me, can NOT get it past my boobs.

DOUBLE U TEE EFF?!

Then I realize one of the "arm holes" is actually the side zipper. Whew. So I get myself together, put my arm in the right hole but can't zip it up all the way.

"SONOFABITCH!!!"

Let me paint you all a picture real quick. It's already after 8:05 (so that makes me late), I have no central a/c, and it's already 70 degrees outside. Now that may seem like nothing to you, but my heart started pumping fast and furious when I realized my iron had died. So I'm HEATED, in every sense of the word.

But I know that real G's have to make sacrifices. So I pull on my brown Ralph Lauren cardigan (to cover up the half-mast zipper), pull my sleeves up, slip on my brown flats and grab my brown-and-pink multi-colored Vera Bradley purse, and head out the door.

This damn dress is so tight I can hardly breathe. Definitely shows my tummy I try so hard to suck in everyday. I can't breathe too hard for fear it'll rip in half, a la The Hulk. It keeps riding up in the back so it makes me look like I got the stank booty walk when that's hardly the case. When I sit down it rides halfway up my thighs so it gives all the Baltimore pervs on the bus a nice little peep show. But dammit I got the whole day to get through, so fuck it.

Fuck you iron, for burning me on Saturday and dying on Monday. The same thing happens to bees. So what does that say about you? BEETCH!!

Fuck you dress, for not gaining material where my body gained pounds.

Fuck you Baltimore pervs. Although you'd probably like that. Ew.

Fuck all three of yall, yall aint shit.

And I still made it to work on time.

If The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now, Just To Tell You Once Again....

EPIC. The ULTIMATE performer. The INCOMPARABLE KING OF POP.

On June 25, 2009 at 2:26 pm the world lost its greatest performer of all time. Maybe I'm biased but he was indeed the greatest to ever grace the stage.

How can one adequately put into words the man and his music? I don't know but I can only write what he meant to me. With 13 Grammy Awards, over 750 Million albums sold world wide and TWO inductions into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, there is no wonder why he is the source behind so many artists' inspiration. His artistic genius was parallel to none.

If it weren't for Michael, whose moves would they be trying to emulate? If it weren't for Michael would artists even be dancing in their videos? Whose iconic status would they be spending all their lives to achieve?

But in the wake of this man's death why are others so intent on continuing to demonize his name and his character? We all know the allegations that have surrounded him for the past 16 years. But I wasn't there. Were you? No. So I don't know what did or did not happen. And honestly? It's not my business. Nor is it yours. And even if he DID do all of what has been accused of him, who are we to judge? To my understandind all sin is equal in the Kingdom of God. That doesn't automatically make him a monster. As far as I'm concerned he was never given the chance as a man, as a person. As a true star he was never expected to make mistakes, to be perfect. But I'm sorry I personally cannot honestly say I would be able to effectively handle a habitually abusive father and the pressure of pure stardom beginning at the age of 11. How was he supposed to thrive without the traditional childhood of people coming up at that point in time?

And PLEASE, someone explain to me what is so damn funny about a man dying? He is DEAD, show some respect! The insensitivity displayed by some people this week is astounding. Perez Hilton deserved to get hit because he's gay? Because everyday he talks about people on his blog? I KNOW that MOST of you people go home and talk about someone you know, whether it be personally or a celebrity. So what's so different from what he's doing than what you're doing?

Alright, now with that said, EXPLAIN to me why it's okay to defame this man's name and character in the wake of his death? Because he ALLEGEDLY molested little boys? I reiterate, YOU WEREN'T THERE! I'm not saying it's not a possibility but the man is dead. No longer able to defend himself. And you're SICK to think it's okay.

I say all that to say I am deeply saddened by today's events. For those who really know me, know that I am a true fan of the King of Pop. We have truly lost one of music's greatest and most influential stars and music will NEVER be the same. If you can't understand just what this means to our culture then please, I URGE you, to remove yourself from my blog. You are not welcome here. Not to compare the two as people, but as iconic images of their respective generations, the death of our star is almost parallel to what it meant to our parents upon hearing about the death of Dr. King. It's goes deep for us, touches our souls, and brings us together as people.

“I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news. For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don’t have the words. Divinity brought our souls together on The Wiz and allowed us to do what we were able to throughout the 80’s. To this day, the music we created together on “Off The Wall,” “Thriller” and “Bad” is played in every corner of the world and the reason for that is because he had it all…talent, grace, professionalism and dedication. He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever. I’ve lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him.” ~ Quincy Jones

Watch this boy move!

Jackson

CNS (Cont'd)

Okay so some of my friends have asked for a list of Certified Nigga Shit. Feel free to add your own. Be it behavior, speech, clothing, whatever the case may be.

1. One day at Wal-Mart my friend and I snuck her Yorkie puppy in. One of the employees saw him and asked "Do him bite?" Bitch WHAT?!

2. Polices. "Police" is already plural. Sit ya ignorant ass down.

3. Tiny & Toya. Nuff said.

4. For the last time.....conversate is NOT a word! Read a book.

5. Colored contacts. It's 2009. Think about it.

6. Post-Dated Checks. I work for a bank and that shit is ULTRA ignorant. You don't have the money. Maybe you shouldn't have spent your last $5 on that dress at Gallo.

7. Blaming your inability to find a job on "The Man". Maybe you shouldn't have dropped out of the 7th grade. Maybe you shouldn't have smoked that blunt the night before your pee test. Stop expecting for people to "accept you for who you are" when you got 3 different colors in your head and all your tattoos showing at a BANK interview.

8. Stop making up names for your children. If it ain't in the "Big Book of Baby Names" then it doesn't belong on paper. Everything can't be Swahili.

9. Yung Berg, Hurricane Chris, Pretty Ricky....all them clowns.

10. This shit.

Just Another Sad Love Song

Okay now that my rant's over this is what I came on here to do originally.

As I've said before, some of my friends think that I'm heartless. NOT TRUE!

But with that said, let it be known: I HATE LOVE SONGS!

Not all, but most. And I know there are some GREAT singers/artists out there but I just can't get with the program. I hate people singin bout how sad in love they are, how happy in love they are, how someone is their everything, and all that other pussy shit. I honestly can't remember the last R&B album I purchased. Besides Queen Bey :0) But I truly believe this is why chicks are so sad when their relationships don't work out. Cuz you listening to these sad ass songs that are further adding to your sad ass life. LOL. But no really.

If the artist's last name isn't Isley, Wonder, Badu, or Wind and Fire I really ain't tryna hear it.

And Keyshia Cole? No ma'am. She slays me the most. I like her upbeat stuff and all but that bitch is sad about every man EVER. That's what you get for proposing to Jeezy.

This is why people think I'm insensitive and all but I just can't rock with it. I'll buy a rap or hip-hop album in a heartbeat. I'll support Hov Daddy and Weezy Yeezy and Jeezy before I'll buy someone's sad ass love song.

Black Embarrassment Television: CNS

Okay so tonite was the season finale of College Hill: South Beach. I haven't watched College Hill in years, and tonite reminded me why. I don't why they were fighting but the shit was ridiculous. But I think I was more upset by the commercials for Tiny (T.I.'s Forever Fiance) and Toya (Weezy's Ex-Wife). I mean really WHAT THE FUCK?! I mean they can't help being ghetto but REALLY BET?! You think this is quality programming? Who really cares about these two? Maybe I'm acting sadiddy but I can't help if that aint what I come from. I don't know who's running things over at Black Entertainment Television but something's gotta give. I know things have changed from when I was growing up but what happened to Teen Summit? I hope the rumors of bringing it back are true. BET Nightly News? Video Soul? The REAL Rap City with Joe Cleezy and Big Lez? Only time I ever purposely turn to BET is if there's actual quality programming on. A good documentary or perhaps a classic episode of "227". I can't believe this is the same network that airs gospel for 5 hours in the morning. I've urged you once and I urge you again, please, Please, PLEASE, BOYCOTT BET! All they do is broadcast Certified Nigga Shit. Just cuz they've thrown "The Game" (which I could never get into) into the lineup doesn't make things better. Where's the intellectual stimulation? The thought-provoking interviews? I'm not claiming to be perfect and all that is Black and Holy but I'm also smart enough to know there's more to life than BIG ASS CHAINS and "educated" college students rumbling Springer-Style. Yes I enjoy stanky-legging on occasion but I also know there's more to life! I'm so scared for this generation coming up because the media is fucking with their minds so bad they don't know right from wrong, up from down. But as for myself I am determined to stay away from Black Embarrassment Television and Certified Nigga Shit.

Excuse me while I Swag Surf.

Some Random Makings

Remember that annoying ass fad on Facebook "25 Random Things About Me"? Well here are mine...and some new ones too

1. If I don't evenly alternate chewing food on both sides of my mouth I feel off balance...and have been accused several times of having OCD.

2. Despite my friends thinking I'm cruel and heartless, I'm really old-fashioned and eagerly look forward to the day I'm barefoot and pregnant and cooking breakfast for my husband.

3. Actually thought at age 5 that I would marry MC Hammer when I grew up.

4. I think gay men that don't like Beyonce aren't really gay. I've never heard of such a thing. They act gay to get closer to the pussy.

5. When I was younger I couldn't remember if I was born in 1985 or 1958.

6. I love the smell of gasoline.

7. I also love driving past H&S Bakery in downtown Baltimore/Fells Point. LOVE the smell of baking bread.

8. I'm deathly afraid of needles but have 3 tattoos and want as many more as professionally possible.

9. I once cried when my Daddy left after dropping me off at school...as a junior at Morgan.

10. I used to think pink and red were boyfriend and girlfriend.

11. I absolutely hate, loathe, and despise Angelica Pickles and Ruby from "Max and Ruby".

12. I wished that I had brothers, I feel that presence could've taught me a lot and prevented a lot of heartache.

13. I'm not the biggest fan of the elderly.

14. Wonder how people would feel if the tables were turned and we just elected the first white President.

15. Don't know who we fought in World War I....?

16. I refuse to listen to "Ether" by Nas.

17. Before 9/11 I thought the World Trade Center was in Chicago.

18. Want to foster and/or adopt as many kids as I can before I die.

19. I have the entire 10 seasons of "Friends" on DVD and know most episodes by heart.

20. I've never been off the East Coast, let alone the United States.

21. Despite loving my roots I hate PG County.

22. When I'm home alone I swear I'm Jay-Z.

23. I have never seen a Chevy with the butterfly doors.

24. After being totally honest with myself realized I only have 5 real friends. Many close people to me that I love but those 5 women keep me going.

25. I'm very self-conscious about my body. Large breasts are sometimes very problematic. As well as backfat and lovehandles. But according to some I'm still sexy....that's gotta count for something!

The Great Unknown

Mmmkaayyy, so you see at the top of the page where it says "The Random Makings of Me"? Y'all didn't think I was playing did you?! LOL because as thoughts come they're going HERE, you know, whatever's too much or too heavy for Facebook and Twitter. So one of the things that's been at the forefront of my mind lately (well everyday) is......

MY FUTURE!!!!

And it's some scary shit. Not seriously, I'm getting to a point in my life where I'm looking to the next plateau in my life and what are the most important things for me to achieve and blah blah BLAH, and I am frikkin petrified. So this is all the shiz that's running through my mind and stressin me the hell out:

#1: FINANCIAL FREEDOM! You see, I was one of those dumbasses in college that thought "Okay, I'll open up one credit card, and since I have a steady income (Victoria's Secret, *scoff*) I can pay it off no problem!" Well funnily enough, I signed up for that VS card before I actually was offered the position, but I knew I was gonna get that job. Anyway, following that card came Express. And I mean why not! I got 20% off because I worked at Victoria's Secret. Followed by The Gap. Because I fukkin LOVE The Gap. They have some pretty nice over-priced shit. That was all in less than 3 months of each other. Then for some reason I thought a credit card through Bank of America was a bright idea. Followed by a Sidekick. Next thing you know I was paying bills and credit card balances on a $25o bi-weekly salary and spending way more than I was earning. I eventually paid off The Gap and Express and closed them (bad idea), but 5 jobs later I'm still paying for mistakes I made in 2006! And I'm trying to make moves like....

#2: BUYING A HOUSE! If I wasn't in such dire financial straits all of my money would be going into a mortgage and maintenance of my first home! Because the market sucks so bad right now I could have gotten a STEAL on one of these foreclosed or dilapidated homes, fixed it up, and turning a profit as we speak! I'm hoping to get myself together and by 2011 be ready to purchase my first home! Hopefully rates will still be decent by then....a Catch-22 if we're out of this recession by then, the rates won't be as good but maybe I'll be able to afford a 12.5% 30-year mortgage (or whatever) *keeps fingers crossed*.

#3: GRAD SCHOOL! Okay, for those who don't know me I HATE SCHOOL!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love gettin brain (hehe) but I HATE homework! My current career goal (cuz it damn sure ain't being a bank teller) is to be an elementary school teacher. I love the bebes, but I went to school for communications studies/radio production. Soooo yeah, I need to become qualified to teach the youngins. And I don't plan on teaching them ProTools or about stop sets or none of that shiz, so I want to get my master's in early childhood education. So y'all keep me in your prayers cuz that's the only way I'll be able to make it through...that and a picture of Souljah Boy taped to my wall (he makes money but the boy lacks guidance).

#4: BECOME A WIFE AND MOTHER: Some of my friends think I have no heart. That I'm dead inside. But I really want to be someone's wife and later the mother of their children. Though I have no time or age limit, I'm getting to the point where I want someone that loves and compliments me and we both want a family. And more importantly, I know I deserve all of these things...in due time of course :0)

Baby fever though....I dunno if it's cuz my best friend is delivering my goddaughter within the next 3 weeks, or if it's cuz it's Baby Week on Discovery Health, or because I've always loved babies but I want one! CALM DOWN, I'm not gonna go around and TRY to get pregnant cuz I can barely afford myself but motherhood is indeed my ultimate goal.

Uuhhh I guess that's really all I wanted to say. Writing it out has calmed my nerves.....for now.

I Don't Understand...

OKAY. So today this dude pissed me off. We went to high school together but rarely, IF EVER spoke. But anyway, not long ago he requested me on FB and pretty soon, we began to follow each other on Twitter, and I don't remember why but I gave him my number. He promotes parties down back home (PG/DC), and would only hit me up to tell me about some damn party.

So a few weeks ago he texts me THREE times in a row to tell me about some damn party, in the middle of the week all the way in DC and I live in Baltimore. So I said no, and told him to stop texting me about dumbass party, one that he had already invited me to TWICE on Facebook. So today, he text me, and I'd had enough, and said:

"No. Stop texting me about parties or lose my number."

To which he replied:

"I could of swore I took you off. Girl fuk ure number. Always fukn crying. I tell you ya dumb females kill me."

Ummm...DID I MISS SOMETHING?!

How am I dumb for not wanting you to send me messages about A PARTY?! But even still, who are YOU, virtually a stranger, nonetheless, to call me out my name?

The worst part for me is that I didn't say nothing else to dude! LOL...I am NOT one to back down from a fight, but it shows me that I'm growing :0)

But no really, is he mad cuz he was tryna get his "hustle on"? Or maybe he's mad cuz he wanted to get at me? Someone PLEASE help me to understand!

Real Quick....

I'm working on another blog but I just had to let something be known real quick!

GENTLEMEN: Jean Paul Gaultier is NOT a body splash, it is a cologne! Please stop overdoing it!! Just because we know it's a designer fragrance and cost you $65 for 3 oz. DOES NOT mean us ladies are going to fall at your feet because we smelled you from a mile away! We're falling at your feet because we choked on your stench! Shit give me a man with AXE (moderately sprayed) anyday.

Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

Okaayyy so I know I'm a little late but I finally read Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man":

.....GOOD SHIT! LOL I know much of what he said should be common sense for every grown woman, but the man drops some knowledge. Much of which I already knew, but I got a much better understanding of some things that had me stumped at times. But here are what I feel were the most important and useful points of the book (in my Cliffnotes version, lol):

**Unless he feels like he has established himself as a man, he's not going to establish you as his woman. If he's really the one you want to be with, sit your ass down til it's your turn! Don't try to force him into anything because he'll resent you for it, and honestly, if he's a real man, he won't stand for it. Get a man with goals, short-term and long-term. If he doesn't even have his short-term figured out ain't NO WAY you're going to be incorporated into his long-term.

**Men are simple creatures. Minimalists that thrive off of basic male necessities. Ladies, you know how we say the smallest things make us happy? The same thing goes for him! As Mr. Dave Chappelle says, "Make him a sandwich, play with his balls, and don't talk so much!" LMFAO no ladies I'm just kidding.

However, I must also add that just because you want a man with goals and a plan doesn't mean jump on the first man that comes along! Ladies let's set our standards high and expect the man we want to reach for the bar and go above and beyond. We've all got too much going for ourselves to settle for less than the best. And as friends we need to keep reminding each other how great we really are.

I cannot and will not get into all that he had to say but he did indeed give me validation and why I don't regret being single since 2004. Some men just ain't ready for it! LOL (but no seriously), this has also given me time to grow and mature as woman into the person I want myself to be...to quote (don't judge me) Souljah Boy: "Be yourself, everybody else is already taken."

Seriously though ladies, it's a good read! It's not a man telling you how to live your life, it's a man offering some insight to a man's mind and how to handle certain situations. You're not obligated to take his advice. But don't say you weren't warned when he takes your cookie and runs and you wondering why his number don't work no mo'.

STAMP.

My First Blog

Doing the thing I said I would NEVER do....writing my own blog! Who gives a flying fukk what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling at any given point of the day?! (This question could also apply to Facebook and Twitter, both of which I am a faithful servant.) But shit everyone else does it so why not me too?! So let's start with introductions...

The Black Mamba is one of Africa's most dangerous and feared snakes, known for being very aggresive when disturbed or confronted and will not hesitate to strike with deadly precision (damn, sounds VERY familiar). The largest venomous snake in Africa, and also the fastest land snake in the world, but uses its speed to escape danger rather than catch prey.

NOW, with all that said, I am NO snake! LOL I'm fiercely loyal to my friends and defend them to the death, but will be the first to admit I sometimes don't know what to say out my mouth (with tact, anyway). Dah, well!

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This blog will just be random musings, hopefully mainly pointless thoughts and feelings. I'm no great intellectual thinker (educated, but no Aristotle), and tend to reach for my future before I fully solidify my present....I'm working on it all tho! You'll probably stop reading my blog once you realize there ain't much going on here but this is all just for fun for me so.....stick a paintball gun up your ass and fire if you don't like it!